I fell in love with you fairly early on in our friendship, and I still am. I try to convince myself that I’m not but it doesn’t work. When I told you this before, back when you were with M, it was embarrassing. But at this point it’s downright shameful; I really thought I would have come to my senses by now, and I was trying, but then you came back into my life.
I don’t understand it, because it’s not as if I would even want a romantic or physical relationship with you; I wouldn’t. I don’t know what I want, but there is definitely an empty space (sometimes filled by your voice).
I really wish I could make it go away, for the sake of our friendship. I can’t. I don’t know if it’s you I can’t get over or if it’s something you represent, something I’ve always wanted but can’t reach (and would be too afraid to take even if I could reach).
You are a dear friend to me, and I believe that you love me when you say you do, and so I am sure you’ll (perhaps begrudgingly) do the only thing you can do to help me find some peace: let me go.
I’m sorry I couldn’t change my feelings to save our friendship. And that’s the first time I’ve apologized for loving.