We were on a field trip for a class we have together. Haven’t had one of those since high school. It’s a museum. We’re still not together. We’re all getting lunch in a cafeteria. I am sitting in one corner, while another mutual friend of ours, a girl, is sitting in the other. I figure you’ll sit with her, you don’t, you sit with me. As the presentation up front goes on, all I can think of is you. I start a little playful fight with you over your pencil, not sure why, you seem receptive. The presentation goes on, you rest on me, God I’ve missed that feeling. The tour finishes up with little more excitement. We all are walking along the street, it’s night-time now. I get bolder, running my hand across your back occasionally like I used to as we all walk along and talk, you seem receptive. There’s something in the air that makes me uneasy, do I sense what’s coming? I grab your hand, you seem receptive. We walk, hand in hand, together again, happy again. I couldn’t have asked for more.
Then I wake up.
Just another disappointing dream, these will be the death of me. I can’t express to you what that feels like. You know if you’ve felt it. The best I can do is say that all those feelings that you’d worked so hard to bury come exploding up to your heart and mind like a volcano. It burns like a volcano.
I’m hitting a breaking point now, I feel it coming and I don’t like where it’s going. I need to avoid it somehow. I just miss you so much, I wish we could make things right again like we do in my dreams. I guess we’ll see, still another year in the same town, still time. Until then, I’ll continue to think about you every day and be tortured by my dreams every night.