• I hope… that you’ll forgive me.

    by  • September 7, 2010 • Fear, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You, Smitten, Yearning • 0 Comments

    Dear AA,

    Hi. As of right now, we are still a couple. You always say that you are in love with me, when I get mad that we don’t talk enough. The way you act towards me says that you do love me. I think I still love you. I really hope that I do. You are the best thing that could have happened to me this summer. I also love that we weren’t just a summer fling. We started dating before summer, and right now summer is over. I am afraid what will happen now though, with us going to different schools. I know that just today, I had feelings for an old crush, that just flared up. I saw him in the hallway, and my breathing stopped, and forgot where I was walking. It wasn’t until I had walked completely away from him did I remember that I was in love with you. Then I terrible, because even though I can’t control my feelings, I tried so hard to get over this guy. There were times when I though that maybe I was over him, but then I would come back from a break, or even just a weekend, and see him there, playing soccer in the gym and then hear him playing the trumpet in band, and I would be back into the Pit of Loving Him From Afar. When you asked me out, I had promised myself that I wouldn’t, couldn’t fall into that pit again, because I was with you. But there I was, falling, and I think i fell harder this time than ever. They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I wish it didn’t. But I am glad it does, because with you so far away, when we do see each other, maybe, I hope, that I’ll fall deeper in love with you than ever. That is what I am hoping for, because if that doesn’t happen, and I realize that I might not love you any more, both of our hearts would break.

    By the way, I’m sorry. Infinitely. You deserve a some one that can give you their all. And right now… I don’t know if that’s possible. On one hand, I can see myself with you for years to come, which may seem like a lot, especially when we’re so young. But I see myself seeing you in the crowd when I graduate, and then being in the crowd when you do. I see myself working out a long distance relationship between MIT for you, and maybe Colombia for me, or maybe the University of Florida. I know this might sound like crazy, school girl talk, but it’s not. At least I hope it’s not.

    Your’s,
    RJ

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