You’ll never know how much you hurt me because I’ll never tell you. We were supposed to be living together, in OUR apartment starting OUR life together but instead you’re with her. I said all those things the night before you asked her out because I was hurt when I saw the pictures, I saw the lies, and you couldn’t even tell me that I was wrong because I wasn’t.
Now that I moved 1000 miles away you want to see me, you tell me I’m beautiful, and that I’m loveable but if I was so beautiful or loveable why couldn’t you love me? You saved me from the self destructive relief that bottles of alcohol brought me on a daily basis. You filled me head with empty promises and broken lies. I loved you, I know I told you if I stopped having feelings for you that I never would again but I can’t stop having feelings for you.
The night we spent together was so perfect that perfect isn’t even the right word to say it, but you chose her and I chose another state. You can’t have this, I know you know she wasn’t the right choice and maybe if I wouldn’t have said all those things we would be there, together, in love. I don’t want to win you back, I don’t even want you to come see me because my heart will just break into a million pieces when I hear you talk to her, when you say her name and tell her you love her.
I’ll always love you, I’ll always feel your kisses on my legs and your heart beating against my chest and your arms around me as I made you laugh. You aren’t my one though, and even if someday you think you are I will have found my one and you will be stuck with a girl that you couldn’t even show your true self to. I’m sorry for the words I said, I regret them everyday but it showed me your true character when you didn’t reach over, hold me in your arms and tell you to be mine.