i don’t understand what went wrong. one day we are inseparable, together 24/7, never without the other on our side. we laugh together, lay in bed watching batman, completely comfortable with each other in silence, and get each other without having to say a word. we are on cloud 9. perfect friends. and then, in the blink of an eye, we are broken. you wont speak to me, you make nasty comment, you spend all your time with her, you don’t give 2 shits about me. and somehow, i don’t hate you. i hate that you hate me. and i know i was always going to want you and you were never going to commit. i know that we were never going to be what i wanted us to be. but to give me up so easily over a refused kiss you tried to give me and me spending time with your friends? it hurts. it hurts every day. and every time i see you, every time we fight, every time i see her, it breaks my heart a little more each time. and 5 months later and i still cant fucking figure out why i cant get over you hating me? this is ridiculous. i wish i could just throw you out of my life forever. never have to deal with your shit again. never have to see you with her. never have to remember what it was like when i was the one in your arms. never have to remember how your voice sounded when you were smiling. never have to remember the smile that made my knees weak. never have to remember how your hands felt on my hips. how your lips felt on my teeth. how you looked at me. never remember or have to see any of it. but at the same time, i still want it all. i want it all back. and i know i shouldn’t. but i do. and there’s only one reason i think of why i can’t get over it.
i loved you, and you broke my heart.