Do you remember when we first met? Skating around the roller rink. I’ve known you all my life but never acknowledged you because you were just there. And at the instant in my life when I finally did meet you and I looked up and saw you were looking at me, too, I knew that you were going to be in my life for good. I knew that every moment I would wake up feeling as if every Christmas present I have ever wanted was just handed to me, every single day.
You left an impact on my heart. One I will never get back. One that no one can replace as hard as I try. And to hear you say “I love you, in a way that means I wish i didn’t” makes everything I have ever believed in feel like an entire year of my life was a lie and just a wild mistake. The constant reminder of what I did BURNS in my brain like an immortal flame.
As much as I regret what I have done, and apologize and beg your forgiveness I will never be able to hear you say “I love you” like you used to again, or have the feeling of your kiss every morning and every night. I will never be able to turn and see your hand in mine, and feel as though every day I have spent without you never mattered. That THIS is what I am to do with the rest of my life….love you. I have since the day we met…December 3rd.