This distance is making it very painful for me. You met someone today, and as I was encouraging you to pursue her, I felt like I was stabbing myself, and the more I encouraged, the more I twisted the blade.
You told me that no matter who you were with, or what you ended up doing, you always wanted to keep talking to me. I’d love that, but the thought of you being with someone else is very difficult for me to digest.
I felt like I was choking when you were telling me how great she was, but I kept smiling so you wouldn’t see how much it hurt.
Skype makes the distance a bit easier, but not when I’ll never get to hold you or kiss you, like we’ve expressed our mutual want to do.
I’m feeling two sorts of conflict at this point. First: I’ll never get to show you how much I’ve grown to care about you. Second: How pathetic is it, to fall in love on the internet? I feel like some teenager who can’t get a full grip on reality, and absorbs themselves into their own online world.
Right now, you’re the only reason I bother to log on every day, and why I stay up so late. I’ve fallen for that smile on your face when you see me, and greet me with a “Hello, Beautiful.”
I’ll treasure that forever.
I don’t know how much longer I can take this distance though. It’s starting get a bit overwhelming.
But you’ll never know that.