• I survived yet again….

    by  • September 5, 2010 • Grief, Heartbreak, Hope, Inspiration • 1 Comment

    I survived yet again. No professional help whatsoever only time and a couple worried friends. Not much by any means but enough to help me make it through. I got out of the dark pit that kept me tied up to a hell. I got out of the hole but I still find myself among the woods. Dark forests surrounding everything we held dear. What once was a pristine meadow is now a nightmare overgrown with marsh that hides the hunters of our peace.

    Beauty and peace fading away to never ending nightmares. This subtle torment called insomnia. Long wasted nights spent staring at the ceiling meditating about the rest of the world. Thinking that maybe on the other side of this barren desert there is someone that like us thinks about the state of the rest. But there is no such thing and if there was wouldn’t this be the way we pay for our errors. Maybe this is the hell we were warned about. Sitting in bed all night wondering as we ask the heavens above to give us a signal. A signal of hope still present in our thoughts, a beacon of life to keep us warm as the world gets filled up to the brim with cold blooded hearts. If there even was a hell couldn’t this be the preview of sorts?

    And as the world grinds to a halt seemingly stopping time itself or at least slowing it down sufficiently to stretch a couple minutes just enough to make us scream we sit and wonder. But what’s to wonder? I we really are all alone in this world? If time wasted ever had an option? Can we even dare to wonder if the world itself has some sense? Do we have a chance at changing what we have always tried to? Are we allowed to believe there is a slight possibility that everything will for once work as it should?

    The world seems to be set with only one goal in mind and that is to break our souls and happiness. Break our molds to make us stronger, show us pain to make us humble enough. Helping us relate to our brothers in arms. The people we’ve heard in bad times and never thought it could be so difficult.

    We run in circles slowly trying to find a path. A path of silence, a path of happiness maybe, one of deep tranquility. A path is all that we seek as we wander in aimless circles.

    One Response to I survived yet again….

    1. Cheryle
      September 6, 2010 at 9:10 am

      God gives you a sign every day that the sun comes up, eagerly waiting to warm your face. and by giving you friends who somehow just know what to do for you. And by creating the genuine miracle it is for you to be born. And by giving you the capacity to choose the life you want. And by giving you the opportunity to compare what you DO have to what you may give up. And by giving you the ability to choose: life or death, happiness or pain, gratitude or selfishness, the cup is half full or the cup is half empty. It’s all there….the universe is just waiting to see if you want it bad enough to actually claim it. So….what are you going to do?

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