I just want you to know that I really did care about you that summer. I was on my way down, but you held me up for awhile. Not forever, obviously, considering the moment I wouldn’t give you what you wanted, you left. I don’t really understand, though. You had never pushed for anything like that before- you were always sweet and funny and perfect-boyfriend-like. Then out of no where, you just ended it. You couldn’t even give me an explanation, I had to pry a fake one out of you. I can’t believe it took me this long to put the pieces together and realize that you ended things right after I told you that I didn’t want things to move too quickly. I apologize for having some self-respect.
Then you have the nerve to come back from boarding school and sweep me off of my feet again. HOW RUDE. I was doing perfectly fine without you, and then you just had to come along and pretend as if nothing had ever changed between us.
Well you know what, you hurt me that summer. You hurt me really effing badly. How dare you.
So anyway, you had the NERVE, to pull the whole prince charming act and play all of your old tricks on me until I gave you what you wanted. You knew exactly what I wanted to hear. You knew that I wanted you all to myself. You knew that I still had feelings for you. You knew that you had left me scarred. So you pushed me until I poured out every word and every emotion that I had been hiding from you.
And what did you do? You coaxed me with your perfect voice and told me that all I had to do to keep you was one thing.
And as in the moment as I was, I believed you.
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
^^ That’s what I would have said a few months ago. But for now, I’m going to say thank you. Thank you for leaving me again that very next day. Thank you for being the asshole that all of us girls hear about in the stories and the movies. Thank you for ruining the special moment in my life that I had saved so carefully. Thank you for proving that any boy can lie, no matter how genuine they may appear to be.
Why am I thanking you? Because I really don’t care. I thought that I cared; I thought that I was supposed to care. All of the girls in the movies and books care. Every law in the girl code says that I’m supposed to be crying my eyes out and hating your guts and having all of my friends plan revenge on you, not to mention possessing the extreme temptation to chop off your dick and shove it up your ass.
Nope, not me, I don’t care. I mean, of course I think you are a complete and utter asshole. Of course I was angry. But why hold the grudge forever? It happened. There is no way around it. It’s over. And truth be told, I’m sort of happy to have the virginity thing over with. It’s not like I’m a slut now. I haven’t even thought about it since (maybe because it was like 10 seconds, literally). It helped to show me that I really am over you, and that people like you aren’t worth my time.
And judging by the fact you’ve now done the exact same thing to her, I wouldn’t be surprised if you eventually had an angry mob of girls hiding in that shitty old mini van. You are an absolute idiot.
Don’t you dare try to get me back, ever. I hate you, not because of what you did to me, but the fact that it seems to be becoming a lifestyle of yours. You aren’t even hot enough to be considered a player, you’re just scum.
So anyway, thanks again. Every time I hear Blink-182 on the radio, I’ll be sure to hold my hair back as I puke up the memories of your hairy dick.