• Rain

    by  • September 4, 2010 • Grief, Hatred, Heartbreak, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning • 20 Comments

    In class on Friday, we were told to free-write about rain for the first five minutes of class. I looked at you, one row over, four seats ahead, and I immediately knew what to write. I wrote about you. About how you pinky promised me we’d kiss in the pouring rain, in an empty street, at night under a street lamp. I wrote about how similar to the rain you are. You’re there one minute, and gone the next. You’ve been that way since I met you. You and the rain both made my face wet. The rain and it’s raindrops. You and your broken promises. You promised me so many things. Empty promises. We made so many plans. I always knew in the back of my mind that we wouldn’t last. I knew we wouldn’t. Did I hope, pray, and fight for you? Hell. Yes. But no matter how much I fought, we didn’t make it.

    We had gone through so much together. Too damn much. I gave you too many chances, while you only gave me one. You broke my heart too many times, yet I always forgave you. I loved you. I hate you now. I hate that I love you. I hate what you do to me. I hate what you’ve turned me into. I hate that because of you, I can’t say “I love you” to any of my friends anymore, because I’m afraid that if I say it, they’ll leave me. Just like you did. I hate it. But I love you.

    You said you were no good for me. You’re right. But I can’t remember anyone else but you. I can’t stand when people touch me, because it takes away how your touch felt. How it made my skin tingle in the most wonderful way. I hate everything about you. Especially that you’ve moved on so easily. Like I was never important to you. Like you were never in love like you claimed. Like we never had anything special. I love you too much.

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    20 Responses to Rain

    1. pining.
      September 5, 2010 at 9:17 pm

      wow…this letter pretty much sums up how I feel right now.




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    2. amanda
      September 5, 2010 at 9:27 pm

      That was beautiful…




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    3. Catherine
      September 5, 2010 at 9:33 pm

      this is brilliant




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    4. Luis
      September 5, 2010 at 9:37 pm

      You sound like a real losser, you are incapable of loving yourself, so you will never really love any one.




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    5. Mimi
      September 5, 2010 at 9:40 pm

      So perfectly said!




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    6. A Rush of Blood To the Head
      September 5, 2010 at 11:46 pm

      I woke up this morning hungover and depressed. Pulled on the first thing I could find. Had to be at a mall to find a dress.

      For a wedding.

      I don’t like weddings.

      It was 2:53pm when I realized I was wearing your sweater. Coldplay started on the radio. I immediately pulled a Newport out and tried not to cry. Walked in the mall, picked something black and drove home.

      It rained today.

      How could you look at me like that when you knew what was going on at that stage of my life. I will always have a little black hole in my heart from you. I could never stay sad or angry with you. All it took was a phone call and an elevator ride. And I miss you. I miss everything that made you the only man I could ever think about trying to fall in love with.

      and now your gone.




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    7. Ann
      September 11, 2010 at 8:11 pm

      I feel the same way. a promise for love in the rain. never reached. plans- all lies.
      “I loved you. I hate you now. I hate that I love you…. I hate what you’ve turned me into. I hate that because of you, I can’t say “I love you” to any of my friends anymore, because I’m afraid that if I say it, they’ll leave me. Just like you did. I hate it. But I love you…You said you were no good for me. You’re right…I can’t stand when people touch me, because it takes away how your touch felt….I hate everything about you. Especially that you’ve moved on so easily. Like I was never important to you. Like you were never in love like you claimed. Like we never had anything special. I love you too much.”
      You hit it right on the spot, man.




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    8. Christian
      September 16, 2010 at 12:59 pm

      stop being so melodramatic, jesus




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    9. Yasmin
      November 10, 2010 at 11:19 am

      Its like this person is living my life. So weird what love turn into :/




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    10. Asha
      November 27, 2010 at 6:35 pm

      wow it seems like I just read my feelings!




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    11. Katie
      March 5, 2011 at 7:22 pm

      Brilliant and you nailed me exactly




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    12. Aleen
      March 22, 2011 at 2:37 am

      This explains my exact relationship with someone I know…no matter how hard you try to make it work, it’s like they knew all along that you weren’t the one, yet looked on as you suffered like that. It’s like no matter what you did, it was never good enough for them




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    13. Carolina
      June 5, 2011 at 1:25 pm

      beautiful




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    14. Petrichor
      June 5, 2011 at 4:29 pm

      When you spend enough time stumbling, you find that the number of lonely hearts looking for love is roughly the same as the number of lonely hearts undergoing unreciprocated love. Funny that.




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    15. Laura
      June 20, 2011 at 8:01 am

      Everything about this is wonderful.
      It is so hard to put feelings into words sometimes, but this is perfectly said.




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    16. kara
      June 30, 2011 at 4:36 pm

      Don’t listen to people who are mean. I know how you feel. Me and a friend liked each other, but we were trying to stay away from each other because I didn’t think it would be a good idea. We hugged in the rain and I still wish we had kissed. I know he was thinking of it at the same time I was.




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    17. Sydney
      August 20, 2011 at 10:21 pm

      Thank you.




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    18. Amanda
      October 27, 2011 at 6:52 pm

      Oh wow. I love this and I want you to know I feel exactly the same way. Funny thing is, tomorrow is Friday and I’ll have class with him as well. I’m crying as I’m writing this, and none of my friends can relate to this at all. I’m glad to know I’m not alone.




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    19. dee
      October 31, 2011 at 4:34 pm

      its amazing that i just stumbled upon this. it’s like you said everything i can’t say yet, but it’s all inside me somewhere. i know exactly everything you felt that was caused by this person. im sorry you had to feel it, too. i hope the both of us can move on from these people who caused us pain. and i hope someday they look back and really regret the way they built us up and then left us to fall apart. the man who caused me this is no longer a part of my life, and i can’t imagine ever having to face him again, so i’m so sorry that he haunts your days still! try to let go. it’s all uphill from here




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    20. nyx
      March 10, 2012 at 10:46 pm

      Bless your tender heart child, you will find love again, and enjoy kisses in the rainand sun both.




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