Archive for September 4th, 2010

I wish I could forget

I wish I could forget how easily you lied… and I wish I could tell if you were lying now. We spend most our nights holding each other… but the intimacy it once held is gone… why can’t you lay with me with out her? why was everything perfect when we lived a lie? I want things to be like they were… for me to so madly in love with you again… but I can’t…. I can’t forget her voice, or her face. And even though you picked me… I don’t always feel like the winner. I just feel torn. Torn between what was, what could be, and the now. Not that the now is bad… it’s just filled with this wall, a wall aching to be torn down again…. but it just keeps getting higher… and the closer we think we are… the further apart we really drift.


No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Betrayal, Cheating, Grief, Lost Love

 

Dear Amazing & Beautiful Co-Worker

You are so full of joy. Every time you smile you do it with your whole face and it makes me melt. You have the kind of beauty that inspires poetry, music, and heart-ache.

You are smart, kind, sophisticated and fun. Your big heart and beautiful soul is evident to anyone that spends more than 30 seconds with you.

But You are 19, I am 30. I don’t want to be the creepy guy, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You make me wish I was younger and better looking.


No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Co-Worker, Yearning for You

 

h.a.h.

We’ve been apart for over a month now. You’ve already moved on and the thought of someone else in my life literally makes me sick. We spoke of so many things together….we were so close to buying a ring. I never meant to hurt you, you’ve been my best friend for so long…I know we were scared about moving this further but we both wanted it…you always said if we broke up I would be the one to ignore you….instead it’s the other way around. I can’t believe you blocked me after everything we’ve been through together…do you remember the night I drove literally through a tornado to spend my first night with you in my arms because I told you I loved you in Jersey…I drove there knowing what storms were brewing, that night was the best night of my life. I think of you every day…there isn’t a single thing that doesn’t remind me of you. You’ve already moved on too….bestfriends for 5 years and we were lovers for a year and a half after that. I couldn’t hold my stress back from work…but you knew I was upset…I did the same for you at your job, I never let it bother me and didn’t take it to heart…why did you just give up and stop talking to me….I never abandoned you. I can’t bare to think of someone else lying next to you…being around you…making love to you. I break down every day…everything in my life has changed and I can’t accept it.

You use to say if I ever left there would never be anyone else for you in your life and you would be completely alone…do you really think that statement was any different for me?


No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Breaking Up, Guilt, Heartbreak, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You, Yearning for You

 

I love my job i love my job…

Ok, so after browsing many a letter on this site, I have come to realize that the vast majority of people who right to LettersIllNeverSend are writing about love. Whether it be love lost, love gained, or someone pining for love, there is a common theme. I am sorry to those who are reading this particular letter but this is not about that.

This is about my job.

I am 17 years old and my summer job is at a small ice-cream shop right by the ocean. I just got off working a 9 hour shift and I have noticed something. Many people who come to get ice-cream are rude. Not rude as in they don’t say thank-you, or they grab the free sample spoon from my hand instead of taking it gently (though many people also do this). I mean rude as in, “You are very stupid,” and “have you even been to school before?”. People roll their eyes at me, yell at me, and are just a horrible raincloud on a perfectly sunny day. You would think that people who come to receive ice-cream would be ecstatic to come and choose their favourite flavour of a delicious treat. While this is the case the majority of the time, many many people are not. A woman asked me if I was stupid today because I told her that I was not allowed to mix 2 flavours into 1 scoop. It does not feel nice to be treated poorly by complete strangers.

So to whomever is reading this, though it may not be quite as interesting as the lost or gained love, please please treat others with kindness. It seems like common sense but you would be surprised how many people in this world manage to ignore that one simple piece of advice. Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Also, in conclusion, do not fuck with those who are serving you food.


2 comments so far. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Job, Knock it Off, To Everybody

 

I Didn’t Do Anything Wrong

Dear Adam,

I’m sorry you got fired. I’m just as sorry that I had a hand in it. But you did something that was strictly against the rules, and then you lied about it. And you had other people try to cover up your tracks for you. That is unacceptable, especially at camp. You’re a great guy, there’s no doubt about that. I have the utmost respect for you as a person, but I have lost any faith in you as a coworker. Now, you probably won’t ever come back; it’s likely they won’t hire you back. But if you prove next year that you’ve changed, we’ll see what happens.

I was asked to bring the whole event to a close-to get people to confess. And I did. They all said your name. If you want to be mad, be mad at them, not me. I did my duty and my job; I must uphold the oaths and standards I agreed to in my contract and throughout my whole life. What would people think of me if I stood by and did nothing? I’ve done that before…it hasn’t gone well.

I miss you, Adam. You are a great person, and a great friend. I’m sorry this happened, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we never saw each other again. I can’t even get in contact with you. This letter is my one last chance at forgiveness. I know you’re likely never to come on this site or read this, but I guess that’s the point. Enjoy your life, Adam. I hope success plants itself at your feet.

Sincerely,
Nick


No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Forgiveness, Friends, Regret, Trust

 

your love.

do you have any idea how much i love you? you don’t, and that’s what hurts the most. i wanna know, i wanna know how it can be one whole year since i last felt the electricity of your touch. one whole year, and i feel like we were together just yesterday. how can a year have gone by, and i’m still so in love with you. how can a year have gone by, and you feel nothing at all?


No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Grief, Heartbreak, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You

 

Thank you

Dear PR,

I don’t think I will ever be able to tell you how much you mean to me. Even if we’re still together 90 years from now, words will never be able to express these feelings. This past year has been great, even with our highs and lows. There have been days when i cursed your name, but at the end of it all I know I still love you more than anything else. Leaving you so I could go to school was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But you took it with such ease and let me go and trusted in us. I am so thankful for that because I know this will make us stronger. I am glad you willingly let me go to further my education and find myself even though it means not being near to you.

You have been one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I cannot imagine my life without you. I go to sleep thinking of you, and you’re the first person I want to talk to in the morning. This time apart is going to be difficult but I know we will make it work. These aren’t things I wouldnt say to you in person. But you and I both know I’ve always been better at writing my feelings. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve been upset with you but you have handled it all so well. I love you and I hope you never question that.

xoxo


No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Gratitude, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You, Yearning for You

 

To Da

I wish you were still here. I wish I could call you and tell you about my day. I wish you’d tell me my heartbreaks will be okay. I wish I understood.

Why can’t you be my Da anymore? Why won’t she let me be her daughter, too? Can I ever see you again? Who makes these decisions? If I come knocking on your door, will you know who I am? Would you run away with me? That’s why I’m scared to come back, that you’ll leave her because she can’t have me in your life, and I can’t break up a marriage.

I love you, Da.


No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Family Stuff, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You

 

I can’t forgive you

I know that it happened years ago. I don’t know why I hold on it to so much, but I do. How can I tell you that every single day, EVERY DAY, I think about her. I think about what you did to me. How you made me feel. It was the worst day of my life. And how can I tell you that being with you is the hardest thing in the world to do? EVERY DAY I am reminded of her. A sign off the freeway. A food you mention you tried once. A place you went camping. I think, did you do that with HER? I love you. I love you sooooo much. And I will stay with you until the rest of forever. But I can’t forgive you, I never will.


No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Betrayal, Cheating, Forgiveness

 

I Don’t Mean It When I Say, “I wish we never met”

M,

Its seven months since I’ve heard from you. I don’t even know if you are still alive. My first and only love. You broke my heart by literally not saying a word. You just stopped answering my calls. I keep telling myself I would feel better if I knew you were with someone else, that then I could move on. But now I think knowing that will just be the nail in my coffin, the one thing to push me over the edge, literally.

I get so lonely everyday, trying to replace you with someone else, it never works. I think they can see through me, see I have no interest in them but to use them to push away thoughts of you.

I wish I knew what I did wrong, maybe I could change, be the better person you obviously did not see in me.

I see your face daily. I still hold the memories of you in my mind. I can’t let me go. I feel like a stalker, I sometime Google your name, hoping to find some trace of you or your face.

I hope you get this letter, because I’ll always love you.

- D


No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Confusion, Heartbreak, Loneliness, Lost Love, Yearning for You

 


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