• The Break

    by  • September 3, 2010 • Betrayal, Cheating, Children, Frustration, Grief, Heartbreak, Letting Go, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Resentment • 0 Comments

    The cards told me it was time to let go – to forgive and cleanse myself of all the pain I’ve been holding – Our relationship from the start was controlling and volatile. I fed off the drama, I think you did, too. I can’t be happy in any relationship now because of it. When things are good, it turns bad for me. I don’t know what real love is. I’m not sure I ever did until you gave me our baby.

    She was the only good thing to come out of us. The one thing that keeps me going. I look at her and I weep silently. The fights we had in front of her – the holes in the walls – Your hands on me- ripping her out of my arms – She was only a baby – I tried to leave the first time. I wanted to be done with you. Everyone told me to stay for the sake of our child. And so I did. I became miserable and depressed. She was the only thing that kept me alive.

    Sometimes things we’re good with us, but rarely so. When I think of the times we had I cry not out of happiness but out of sadness. For our daughter and for myself. The lies you told me. The affair you had while I was pregnant with our second child – the miscarriage that would soon follow – and again the affair – I had reached my point of no return – I packed up our things and planned to leave you and I did. With out daughter under my wing. But not before I contacted your lover’s husband by email, phone etc. Sent him everything I found out about you two. Wrecked his home like she did mine. Two shameless human beings.

    The best is when you told her I wasn’t really pregnant at the time, because I was only a few weeks. I didn’t know there was something as being half pregnant- Or on Mothers day when she blew you in the woods because you couldn’t afford a hotel room- and me at a SPA day that you gave me so u could be with her.

    Two months after I moved out with our child you moved another woman in – it wasn’t even the woman you were cheating on me with – she quickly became my replacement.

    You tried to take our baby from me- spread lies about me in paperwork and through court – accused me of the most disgusting things possible. But it was all lies – I know now you are sick in the head – unhealthy – controlling – manipulative abusive – I hope our daughter is never with a man like you -I try to forgive you, I know its the right thing to do – but I can’t.

    Not yet. It’s still too soon.

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