The first ten years of my life I had a mom that was bruised and beaten. You locked me outside after school so that you could beat her. You let me in after she made dinner. Food doesn’t taste good when the person serving it to you is swollen.
For the first ten years of my life you were a raging alcoholic and addicted to drugs. I remember those 3am drives to pick you up from the strip clubs. I remember you making me watch Predators with you when I was 6 and then passing out in the middle of the movie because you drank too much; I remember how terrified I was for months. In the first ten years of my life I went to seven different schools, and lived in 5 different houses. Drug addiction and alcoholism are expensive habits. You sold my dog, Jewel, for drug money. I loved her.
I remember when you came back after mom kicked you out. I remember you standing at the door begging me to let you in. I remember hating you for coming back.
Remember when you drugged my mom and let your friend rape her? Did you ever know that she got pregnant? His name is Sean, he just turned 13. He is smart, sweet, and sensitive; everything you weren’t. Remember when you pushed my mom and baby brother out of the window in the living room after my mom came home from the hospital with him? I do. I tried to call the police but you found me and cut the phone cord. Jesse, my brother, is tall, handsome, smart, and a great football player.
My mom is gorgeous, remarried, happy, and successful. Your other son, Robert, is a Senior in High School now. He wants to be a psychologist and help people that have had abusive childhoods. And me? Well I am in my Junior year of college studying History and Art History. I am strong, independent, confident, beautiful, and extremely smart. The only thing I got from you that I like are your Hawaiian genes; I really love my curves.
You just got out of prison in the Spring. You found me on Facebook and you found my cell phone number. I know that was you calling all those times. Please don’t come up here to my school. I don’t want to see you. It took me years to become the woman I am today and to get over what you put me through. I am not about to let you jeopardize that. I will call the police if you come anywhere near me. And if you mess with my brothers, you mess with me. Leave them alone. I spent the first ten years of my life being afraid of you, but not anymore. You don’t scare me.
The Daughter You Will Never See Again