• I love you so much I hate you

    by  • September 3, 2010 • Breaking Up, Grief, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    The title pretty much sums it up. We met while I was dating your friend, who treated me like shit. We started talking and out of the blue you tell me you’re falling for me. So, I blindly let down my guard and allow myself to fall into you. I didn’t know you wouldn’t catch me, and that I would still be falling even after the end. Damn it, you told me you loved me, and that I was beautiful, and all these beautiful things. And we made love, and you held me so tightly, like you didn’t want to let go. But you did, and it’s killing me. It’s been two months since you broke things off…told me I was awesome and that you really cared about me. Really? Really really? If that were true, you would still be with me. I understood when you said you weren’t ready, but before you said goodbye you said the words I wished I would have never heard you say. Maybe one day….Why would you keep me hanging onto you like this? If you really just were not ready for a relationship, why would you give me that hope and then nothingness. I love you more than you will ever know, because I am too afraid to try and tell you anything anymore. And seeing your name on my fb kills me, because you don’t want me, but you’re still there. You are the most beautiful man in the universe, and you don’t even realize it. I do not want to live without my better half. The half that made me feel like I was worth anything to anyone. You were different…and I miss you. I want my friend back, regardless of how I feel for you, and how it’s obvious you feel for me, You were a great friend. I drag on through the days and I write to you every day. But you never read them, because I’m collecting them just in case, in case one day we get our second chance…then you can see how much I truly did not want to let you go.

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