• Man Oh, Man!

    by  • September 2, 2010 • Confusion, Goodbye, Letting Go, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You • 0 Comments

    Ok…So I’ve said that really I don’t want to do anything with you right? But I say that one minute and the next I want to be held by you…

    Gosh..really, I’m so confused that I managed to confuse myself that I don’t even know if I’m confused. Gah! Really…

    So one minute I do want you, I want to have a future with you T, I want to have our own place and make love to you. To see you every single morning and be kissed by you and held. I want to sit in front of our own TV and cuddle on the couch and have our meals together. I want you to be the last person I see at night and the first person to see in the mornings. I want to argue with you about stupid things. And I want to make up afterwards. I wanna know that you’re mine and only mine that I’m your and only yours. I want to know that you want me forever and ever like we talked about. Have our kids and live happily ever after.

    I fell in love with you because of how you are and who you are. I don’t care about looks. Not that you’re ugly T. You are my Perfect Guy. Even though you don’t believe it. You don’t see that sometime I think you’re beautiful. That I just want to look at you sometimes just cause you catch my attention sometimes. I want to hold you and stroke your face and kiss you to show you how much I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I do love you.

    But I know that things aren’t going so good right now. I imgaine all of this..But I don’t. I see Us not working out. Whatever happens I have this idea in my head. I’ll move from home of course. We’re still so very young. So very young. And yes young love could work out… But If I do things the way I’m planning it..it won’t.

    I haven’t told you but I’m planning to move To Irvine. I don’t want to stay here. I never did. Which is why I was so adamant about falling in love with someone T. You knew that. It’s not that I want to leave our love. Or whatever is left of it… But I know I NEED to go on. I know that you are confused about our I guess you could call it non-relationship. You don’t know what you do want with me… I think, well at least that’s what you tell me T. Moving on is something that both of us do need to do.

    But I don’t know..I kind of don’t want to. I still love you. But because I love you and you just can’t seem to make up your mind…I’ll do it. I don’t want to see you anymore I don’t want to talk to you ever again. It’s for the best and you might not understand…but it’s for the best. Ugh…maybe this is all happening..because I do remember the bad times…But I like the good times better.
    I think that you are worth every single thing though…But you don’t think so…So I guess maybe I should stop talking…

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