• I’m sorry

    by  • September 2, 2010 • Heartbreak, Lost Love, Regret, Sorry • 0 Comments

    It’s been 14 years since the last time I saw you. Not many days have gone by when I haven’t thought of you. I’m sorry I hurt you. You didn’t understand why I walked away from us. I thought I did, now that I’ve thought about it, it was a stupid reason. I respected them, wanted to finally make them happy and proud of me, what a joke. Do you know that I still strive to make them happy? It hasn’t happened yet. I’m 37 and still want mom and dad’s acceptance, it’ll never happen.

    Am I happy without you? No. Am I happier with him? Absolutely not. My children are the only true loves of my life. Sometimes I think you really weren’t as good to me as I thought back then. I know you could be rude and obnoxious at times, but I could also be a bitch. But, I do believe you loved me for me, not for what I meant to your future.

    It won’t absolve me from hurting you but I want you to know, they all lied to me. He lied to me from the very beginning. Everything he said was a lie, they knew and kept it from me. Did you know he has an ex-wife? I found out the day of our wedding. Did you know his job was washing cars when we met? They knew and didn’t think I deserved any better. He continues to lie to me. Most days I hate him, and them. My children are the reason I’m still here. When they are old enough to understand, we’re out of this house and away from him.

    I just want you to know that I’m sorry. Not asking for anything other than your forgiveness. In the end, I guess I deserve such a bad life because of how I hurt you. Please be happy and successful.

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