• feelings

    by  • September 2, 2010 • Confusion, Friends, Grief, Heartbreak, Hope, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    I know how you feel about me. And I can’t help it, but I’m in love with you. It’s that simple. You always told me that I would just know when the right person came along, and now I know. I can vision us together. I can see us being in love and being happy for the rest of our lives. But you don’t feel the same way. And that’s ok. I just wish it was different. I wish you would look at me and think I was beautiful or want to spend time with me and be thinking about me when we aren’t together. I want this feeling to be mutual. I have never loved anyone like this and it’s heartbreaking. You are amazing. You are everything I wish you would be. There is part of me that doesn’t want to move on or be with anyone else because I have this strange hope that maybe later you will change your mind and decide you have been wrong. Maybe you will be the one coming to me and spilling out your heart. Maybe we actually will be able to be together and happy. But that is just wishful thinking. The truth is that I will probably not get over it and you will, and I will be the forever “friend” wishing for something that isn’t there. But that’s fine. It’s also pathetic.

    I hate myself for getting carried away in this. For letting my imagination run wild. For not doing it right. I feel vulnerable and insecure. I feel like I no longer have anything to hide, which is scary.

    Life is unfair. The wrong type of people end up in relationships. People look for the wrong things. It seems like it comes so easy for other people. Am I looking for the wrong things? Am I too insecure? Would I even know what to do if I was in something serious?

    I guess you would just “know”. Which is this case, turned out to be one-sided.

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