• Broken

    by  • September 2, 2010 • Breaking Up, Friends, Grief, Heartbreak, Letting Go, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple • 1 Comment

    I wish I could just be over you. You strung me along for so long I don’t know how to let go. I spent so much time hoping for you to call me babygirl and hold me and tell me you want me. I never felt more safe than when i was with you. I let my walls down and trusted you. You hurt me more than anyone else I have ever met, even my ex and you know what he did to me. I changed myself for you. I don’t regret it I just wish you saw how much I gave up for you. I want to be able to be your friend but when I am with you it is just natural for me to hold your hand or snuggle up close to you while watching a movie. I don’t know how to make it stop. I don’t want to want you anymore. I want to move on and find someone who wants me but I can’t when you are still in my life. I want to be strong enough to tell you no and just leave. I never wanted to be one of those girls who falls apart over a guy and begs him to come back but I can’t think of anything else but you. I still love you and I want you to love me but if you can’t i need to let go. I know I said that I was over you and it wouldn’t hurt me to see you with someone else but I’m pretty sure it would kill me. I’m barely holding on anymore and I need a reason to stay here. Just give me a reason to stay.

    One Response to Broken

    1. mel
      February 2, 2011 at 11:26 pm

      girl i feel like you just wrote that letter from me. I know exactly how you feel and you know what, you will never get over him. He will always be part of you and you will forever have those memories engrained in your brain, but the most you can do is be grateful that it happened and pray that you find a guy who has all the qualities you loved in him and more that you have never experienced. All relationships come to an end sooner or later, whether it is through death or separation, but if you keep the memories you had with them and the lessons you learned from them, you do not need them in your life because they have become part of you. I know that you probably don’t care and really want him for the rest of your life, but allow yourself to grow without him and explore the world and all of the other people in it sweetie. Separations always hurt, that’s what mourning is all about, but it will get better. Take care of yourself and give yourself reasons to live and be happy and when you least expect it, the guy you never could imagine will come 🙂

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