• A million ‘why?’s

    by  • September 2, 2010 • Betrayal, Breaking Up, Grief, Letting Go, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    I met you when I was 15. You knew how innocent I was, yet you took me along with you. I loved you so much I thought I would break. You told me it wouldn’t work out, and I could come along for the ride if I wanted but you should have known who I was, and how I’d think that love could conquer all. It’s ironic that the things you did took away that innocent, cheerful person. You say you miss her so much. You hurt me again and again. The whole time you talked about open relationships or how it was ‘for us’ when you went to bed with another girl. Now I’m forever ruined. You didn’t even seem to care when I started throwing up 4 times a day. You just told me I was an embarrassment and people would blame you. In fact, it IS you. I stopped throwing up for you, I tried to be who I was, but you found someone else anyway. I know we promised to stay best friends, but I can’t handle listening to you talk about how you would like to marry this loose girl. You KNOW that I dreamed of a wedding since I was a little girl. I’ve even picked out colors. I don’t love you anymore, I think, but I still feel like I need you for some ungodly reason.

    I guess what I really want to ask is why was I never good enough being
    who I was?

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