• You can be an asshole sometimes

    by  • September 1, 2010 • Frustration, Grief, Hope, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You • 0 Comments

    If I didn’t care about you and love you, I would diss you. I wouldn’t let any other ‘friend’ of mine treat me this way and yet, against my better judgment I let you get away with it because I do love you and I want to have a life with you. The irony is, if I was watching myself at a distance I would be thinking “girl, move on already, he doesn’t care, he doesn’t deserve you”.

    I see you online, we don’t speak (or very rarely and that breaks my heart when each day you used to send me kisses and hugs as soon as I logged on). It was only 2 months ago you loudly professed your love to me. How can it change so quickly? Either you are really fucked up in the head and you do need to sort yourself out, or that book comes to mind “he’s just not that into you”.

    I would love to be inside your head but then I wonder why am I trying so hard?? I need to get over this relationship we had. I need to finish grieving. I wonder if you think about me, miss me, wonder what I’m doing??

    You always surprise me, so maybe you do, but you certainly don’t let me know about it.

    It would be ironic if you were on this site as well, writing me a letter. I almost want to tell you about this site, but it’s like it’s my secret, my chance to offload and I’m not ready to share this with you (if ever).

    Sometimes you are an asshole to me and I just need to remember those times – it will help me move on, I’m sure.

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