I’ll never know what the right thing to do is.
It’s like I’m living off hope. Hope that one day he’ll wake up and realise I’m worth it, that I won’t hurt him and would do anything to save him.
I’m sitting here awake at 2:20am just hoping he’ll call me from his night out like he said he would but I can’t be sure. I sometimes feel like I can’t be sure of anything anymore.
6 months of dating and the only thing I know is that he doesn’t want to lose me but he’s not ready ‘cos of him being so fucked up by her. Well I’m not her and I just feel like yelling give me a chance! Why should my first experience of love be as fucked up as his? I’m better than that and I’ll wait. Unfortunately I always will….until I’m sure either way.
That does not mean I’m a doormat, and I hope he realises that. Just because I love you doesn’t mean I’m gunna be a mug for you.
I’m a beaker.