• Oh Damn,

    by  • August 29, 2010 • Betrayal, Breaking Up, Cheating, Letting Go, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    Well Hun…

    Here’s the truth for you, even though I say I never lie, that I always tell you the truth. I don’t see us having a future together. I really don’t. After everything that you’ve done to me I’ve finally had it!

    Wow, to tell you the truth, I thought that this day would never come. But this isn’t a letter to celebrate me getting over you. I love you. Yea, I know…I still love you regardless of everything that you’ve done to me. I’ll always love you since, of course, you are my First Love. We did so many thing together that I will never forget and we have so many memories together. But at the same time I’m hurt and I’ve been licking my wounds to get better. And yes, I know I’ve hurt you, too. I’m not denying it and yes, sometimes I do forget that I’ve done that. I’ve told you I’ve hated you, that I never wanted to see you again. That I was always faking. But honestly…I don’t know what to feel. It has been my first time. You’re the only one I know. So really, I don’t know. I made my mistakes. You left me…I went out and went out with another guy. Didn’t take me long to find another boyfriend…never really does. But You! Oh boy! You do it even better then me…well, in my opinion.

    You! You talk to those girls while we’re together and you have the audacity to tell me that you’re just “friends”. Of course, I know that it’s all a lie. You leave me for them…I don’t. Yes, I do look and see what’s in front of me, but I don’t even bother to pursue. I tell them straight out that I’m in a relationship and that I’m happy and I won’t go for them. But YOU! Ugh you…you gladly do it. And in front of my face. And when I confront you, you tell ME that I’m over reacting. Yeah, right.

    But anyways, back to the subject. I’m sorry to tell you that, yes, I still do love you. I still have feelings for you. Yes, yes, yes. But I don’t imagine a future with you. I don’t want to live together. I’m young. I always imagined having my own place before even moving in with someone. But you want to move in right away. I realize that a while ago and I panicked. I don’t want that. I was able to imagine all of that before all of those problems. But now I don’t. I don’t want to marry you. I don’t want to live together…and I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to tell you without hurting you. I never want to hurt you. But really I don’t see how I can tell you this without hurting you. Really…

    This last time took the cake. I’m done playing your games. I know that you’re going to school and I’m actually surprised that you don’t have a girlfriend. Like really surprised… But you’re still trying to make what we had work out. I do admit I tried to get you back and you said no. And so, because of that. I gave up. I’ve given up hope with you. Well, kind of. But I’m ready to move on. I’m going to start school as well. And It’s always been easy to have someone new. I don’t expect you to understand. I expect you to get mad and tell me things and talk bad about me. And I expect for you to stop talking to me and then when you realize that I’m actually not in your life anymore…you’ll call me..and you’ll say you’re not asking me to leave my new boyfriend. But you do want me back. But I’m not making the same mistake as last time. I respected your relationship. Yes, OK, I talked a lot of trash about her but I never asked you to get back with me. I knew that I wouldn’t want you to think as I’m thinking. I wish you respect what I wanted and not just think about yourself. But this is the end of You and Me. I hope that you won’t hate me…but you probably will. So I’m sorry things didn’t turn out the way we had Planned…but I want something better for myself.

    Lovingly,
    I want better for Myself

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