It’s been such a long journey together. We’ve through so much… and in under what everyone else would label “all the wrong circumstances”. I never planned to feel this way… never. In fact I spent a long time denying the growing feelings and the fact you were on mind mind all of the time. WE couldn’t… that was the deal… we couldn’t.
Things changed… neither one planned for it. I admit it… we were way to intense at times, but the basis of it was that we loved each other, but the pressure of the situation was too much. I’ve never felt like the only woman and the times that I did it was like you would have to up and go… leave me there… thinking of the last couple of hours, days, months… alone. You say that in spirit you were always there, but I wanted you there physically… I wanted to fall asleep next to you and wake up to you the following morning.
I lied to you… i lied a lot… about stupid stuff… I was trying to protect myself. I didn’t know if I could believe you when you said that you loved me… how could you leave me then? I felt used sometimes. No matter how much or how often I would get mad at you… i always loved you and still do. I can’t help it. Every guy I meet I compare to you. I try to imagine what it would be like to hang out with him the same that I did with you, but I know i can’t… I know it’s not possible… they aren’t you.
I don’t want anyone else… i want to scream that to you… you say you wonder what I would do if we were in a relationship and you weren’t around… at least give me the chance to show you that I wouldn’t lie or hide things. Give me the chance of being in a relationship with you. You used to tell me to call you boyfriend… but why??? How???? You were with someone else even if your heart was with me. I want to be with you and you alone… give me the chance… believe me when i say I don’t love anyone else… I don’t know that I can. You are my other half… everything in me tells me that… reassures me of that.
Believe me when I say that I would never hurt you… I love you … I always will.