• I Don’t Even Know

    by  • August 28, 2010 • Acceptance, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    I feel embarrassed about writing this letter. Mostly because I am worried that a couple years from now I will think back to it and think that it was the stupidest thing ever. But what can I say. Things need to be said. Things that I can’t say to you because I am afraid that you don’t feel the same way, and I just don’t feel like being hurt anymore than I already have.

    The thing is, that I like you a lot more than friends. It’s weird. It’s like you are always in my mind. You’ve replaced the thoughts of my old crush that lasted three years, and even though I know that I will always have a little crush on him, if I ever had you I would be okay with it because I’d think that maybe the first prize was awesome and cool and unique, but that the second prize is something that I actually need, actually use, and something that actually makes me feel good. I know that seems like a weird way to explain it, and even a little bit insulting. But I don’t know how to explain it another way. To me it’s not mean, because it’s just me saying that I would love you more than I could ever love him.

    It’s almost ridiculous how much I like you. When we were out tonight and you got close to me I just wanted to get closer so much. It’s not like my heart stars racing like it’s supposed to according to all the movies and books. Instead I get calmer, I start moving slower, and I just want to close my eyes and have you hold me.

    But you don’t like me that way. I know you don’t but it doesn’t really matter because hopefully in a couple years I will forget about you. Maybe you will become the first prize and I’ll finally find the second prize that likes me back.

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