You were never mine in the first place. Months before the first time we spoke, before I ever knew you the way I do now, you had already been taken away.
So tell me, why can’t I just let go? It’s not as if you help either. We talked, non stop. You were going to leave her for me. After all, I left him for you.
You changed your mind, wanted to be “just friends”. Conversation slowed to a trickle then stopped completely. Over a month later, all it took was two conversations over facebook to make me realize i never got over you. I broke up with my new boyfriend, one of your best friends. We started talking more, flirting. You said you like me, and I told you the same. We did things we shouldn’t have, out on that trail. It was not right to her.
And now you won’t talk to me. You bailed out on drinking together a few days after, and when i asked why you stopped replying you said you were busy with work and stressing.
I find that hard to believe. I know you don’t like to hurt people, so I can’t help but think that you are just trying to break it off without actually telling me.
So, with this mindset I go to the store, and then you smile and wave at me.
Now what the hell am I supposed to think? I can’t wait for school to start. I’ll get to see you more, and maybe I’ll cross your mind.
Maybe you’ll strike up conversation with me. Maybe you’ll turn out to be the person you seem to be, the person I desperately want you to be.
Some people say you’re a player. Some say you are the nicest guy. I don’t know what to think. I know what I want you to be, but I just don’t want to be hurt again.
I think about you every day, all the time. I’m waiting for you.
But please, Joseph, do something. If you aren’t interested, or don’t plan to ever date me, tell me, so I can move on.
If you are, then get the hell on with leaving her so we can be together.
You only have the rest of the school year. We only have the rest of the school year. Because then you’ll be gone to college. Please.
I think I’m in love with you. I feel so much emotion just churning inside of me, whenever your name is even mentioned. Right now, writing this, I almost feel like I could cry. I’m going to wait for you.
But a damned long time.
I love you.