I’ve been on a writing roll lately so I guess you’re next. First of all let me just say, “I miss you.” I’ll always miss you and I hope you miss me. You’re my dear, dear friend and I carry you in my heart. You have been such an important part of the massive upheaval I’ve had over the past few years. Clinging to you felt like a relief from so much pain. Clinging to you now just feels sad and outdated. I’ve finally let you go as a lover and an idea of salvation. But I will never let you go as a friend.
I want to share with you, perhaps for your book, how I feel about you this very moment, knowing you so well and doing a bit of cyber-stalking to see what you’re up to.
You’re in love. I can see it. I think you’ve found the person you were meant to be with. She looks so much like all the girls you’ve been tapping into all these years. She seems so pure, loving, and ready to accept all that you have to offer. But she has something else and that’s what hooked you. I know it’s good and right, and perfect. She looks a bit like your ex-wife and perhaps even more like one of your daughters. Your soul knew what it was looking for. I’m happy for you. I’m happy for her. She seems like she deserves a truly loving, interesting, exciting, guy who can expand her experience of the world and give her a place to express all that she can be. She’s been waiting for you.
I admit it, I’ve been stalking her Facebook page. Please thank her for finally making all her pictures public. None of it was a surprise when I finally saw it but the heart in the shape of petals on the hotel bed was a little over-the-top for me if you know what I mean;) Truly though I Iove it for her and I love it for you and I love that she shared it with her friends.
I’ve shed a tear or two as I write this because I feel the loss of you as a lover still, nearly a year after we were last together. It’s not me you picked and I’m so fucking competitive it makes me mad. (Phew, there I said it and I feel better.) I’m coming to grips with the fact that it’s not only alright in my soul, it’s the right thing. (I’ll spare you the details because I know your ego is sensitive.) You said to me once, “This is true love.” I still believe that it was but I also know there is more than one true love. Thank you for sharing that with me at a time when I needed it most.
So my friend, I just want to share a couple more thoughts with you that feel driven from the depth of my connection to you. First, everything you are and everything you do generates very deep feelings of affection from the people around you. Your actions mean a great deal. Please be honest with your new love. She’s so beautiful, sweet and smart, clearly a pure, bright soul who loves you deeply. Celebrate her and what she means to you with everyone you care about. Let her know where you’ve come from, what you’ve done, and who you are and want to be. Also, remember the people that are important to you and embrace them as part of your relationship with her. Don’t compartmentalize your life and relationships. There’s room for everyone and I know you’re making that happen even as we speak. You’re a master of creating loving community. Keep it up! Don’t cheat on her. Don’t make her a hidden asset like you did me. Keep it transparent and open.
I look forward to watching the two of you evolve together and bring out the best in each other and your shared world. You both have such a powerful capability to spread love!!! It’s what the world needs now! Don’t skimp.
I carry you in my heart always as a friend and the loving catalyst that helped carry me to the next phase of a beautiful existence.