My dearest Joey,
I cannot tell you how many letters and poems and songs I have written you since we last spoke. Since that fateful day when you decided to end things.
I do not know that I will ever come to terms with it. The words you left me with still play over in my head like a broken record…and I feel like a cripple who can’t even get out of my chair to stop it. We met on a fate filled whim, and you were the most beautiful man I had ever seen. When you told me you loved me and I looked into those sapphire eyes, I knew you did. And I love you. And you came here and we had one amazing weekend that I just can’t seem to forget. You were the only man I have ever known who treated me like a woman should be treated. I fell madly in love with you, and that scared you away. Sad part is my daughter fell in love with you, too.
It’s crazy to think we had it all right then, and you threw me away in the end. You told me I was ‘awesome’ and that you truly cared about me, but you just weren’t ready. Understandable. But you left me with this feeling that maybe down the road we could be together. I text you and you don’t reply. You refuse to talk to me although you said you would, but you don’t remove yourself from my facebook, and you read every thing I send you…If you didn’t love me then why would you still do these things?
There is one thing I never told you, and I never will. A month and a half after you left, I went to the doctor for a check up. I found out that I was pregnant…even with my tubes tied I managed to get that way, thanks to you. But when I went to my OB Dr. my levels were dropping, so I lost it. I am having to live with this, and you not knowing because it doesn’t matter now…I want my friend back. And most of all, I still want to be your everything.