I gave up too much for you. I gave up my morals, a piece of my innocence. I gave up my peace of mind. I even gave up a friend.
I’m not sure why I trusted you. I shouldn’t have. But I needed someone to believe in. I was tired of being who I am. There’s something eternally frustrating about being “the virginal one” in a group of young women, but now I can’t help thinking that having every little bit of that back would be better.
Really, I think that I just needed someone to believe in. I can’t really explain it, but you made me feel beautiful there, in the darkness, like no one has for a long time. You reminded me of him, the one who hurt me. But, in the end, I couldn’t count on either of you to stop causing me pain and worry. Him, I forgive, out of love. As for you… you’ll take some time.
The really sad part? I really did believe in you… but you don’t even care enough about me to tell the truth about simple things or, usually, call me.
I suppose it was my fault for wanting to see love in a man’s brown eyes again.
You don’t need to love me; I know that I’m complicated. Maybe I’m not worth the time.
I’d ask you to remind me of this the next time I start to believe that someone might actually care for me… But, I’m pretty sure I’m not worth the breath it would take.
I guess I’ll try to remember alone.