• I’m Afraid I Won’t Be Coming Back This Time

    by  • August 26, 2010 • Friends, Gratitude, Letting Go, Lost Love, Miss You, Trust • 0 Comments

    We’ve been up and down too many times, my dear. We lie to ourselves and each other that everything is alright, but that always leads us to a very hard realization that everything isn’t. It’s very much not alright. I can’t keep lying to myself. You made me so happy. I was in a bad place, emotionally, psychologically, personally. I thought you would help me. You told me you would. But you lied to me and you hid from me. I never trusted anyone but I trusted you, and you made me regret it.

    So I walked away with a huge chip on my shoulder. Things got even darker for me. So I decided to get help. It was working, so when I saw you again, I decided to try to be your friend again. We had a great month, and I won’t deny that it made me really happy. But we fell into the same patterns as before, and the same problems arose. And now we’re back to this.

    At this point, I just want to concentrate on getting better myself. I spent so much time trying to help you with your problems that I ignored mine. It’s my turn. I’m walking away because you have never been anything more than a toxic influence in my life, and I am never going to be the person I want to and can be as long as we are friends.

    I miss you, my one-time friend, but I can’t lie anymore.

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