• I can’t let go

    by  • August 26, 2010 • Heartbreak, Hope, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    I never thought I’d cry so many tears over one person. You had me. I was yours. I told you how I felt…you told me that we couldn’t happen. That our worlds were too different. Then, after I’m married, moved on, and put my feelings for you deep inside, with no intention of ever letting them out, you tell me, casually, that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. What was I supposed to do? You let me go. You never told me how you felt. You had me believing that I was just some “groupie” to you and your band. And now, for the last 4 1/2 years, since you told me, I’ve been stuck on you. Just talking to you, my heart races and I can’t breathe. Seeing you, I can barely stand. And now you have this new adventure, and all I want to do is be there for you. Support you, because we all know she doesn’t care. And how could she not? If you were mine, I’d be everything you need. Everything you want. I wouldn’t ignore you or hurt you. I would love you. With all of me. Like I’ve been doing from a distance. This thing we have. Words can’t describe it. It’s powerful. It’s emotional. It’s intense. It’s like nothing I’ve ever known, or will ever know again. And what’s funny, is I wish you would just say fuck everything, take down your walls, and tell me how you feel, holding nothing back. I know what I feel. I’ve said what I feel. What’s the worst that could happen, you telling me? Me crying because my deepest fears are true? Or that you tell me you feel the same, and we figure things out from there? You can’t hurt me any worse than I’ve been. I do, however, want to thank you. Because of you, I am who I am today. I’ve known how to love so intensly that it tears you up inside. I’ve felt a great loss. Most people don’t get to feel that kind of love. I am lucky enough to have that with you, for you. The only regret I have with you is letting you let me go. You are a part of my soul. I will love you until the day I die, and even then, I’ll still love you.

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