I have known you 9 years. It has been all about you. Everything has been on your terms. You use me. I have spent countless nights crying for you and praying for you to want me like I want you. We just spent our first weekend together after not seeing each other in three years. You are getting older. You lost your teeth. You are 51 and you live in a basement with a psycho family. You are 1 step away from bankruptcy. You are a mess. And yet, I still love you, unconditionally. I deserve so much better, but you won’t leave my head and my heart. I sleep with your sweater. I don’t know what to do move this story forward. I can’t forget you, nor do I want to. I don’t want a life without you in it, as messed up as that is. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat until this is resolved. I am so sad.