• I’ve Always Wanted To Be the Party Girl

    by  • August 25, 2010 • Fear, Frustration • 2 Comments

    Drink, drugs, hook ups, but I’ve never been that girl. I’ve always been the goody goody. Too scared to experiment because I’ve only seen the bad side of those things. I’ve always had to do damage control but never actually got to cause some damage myself. Time and time again I’m called to pick her up, or to take care of him, to help her get over her addiction, or to help him get sober. Will I ever be taken care of? Will I ever get the chance to break out of this mold of sitting on my couch every Friday night feeling sorry for myself? To finally live like everyone else is instead of being too controlled by fear that fun is now a foreign concept to me. I want to be fun and party, I wanna be with a bunch of guys. As strange as this sounds I’ve always wanted to be a slut, that would mean people like me right? I haven’t even gotten my first kiss yet, that’s how pathetic it is. I’m at the point where I’m desperate to be the fun girl, to party, to be liked. But that isn’t me and I don’t think it ever will be. Unfortunately.

    2 Responses to I’ve Always Wanted To Be the Party Girl

    1. Bookworm
      August 25, 2010 at 10:48 pm

      Oh wow hon… I think that you just wrote my letter FOR me.

      This letter spoke out to me more than any other on this site has before.

      Thank you.

    2. Throckmorton Jones
      August 25, 2010 at 10:53 pm

      I slept around a lot. I partied a lot. I was the social butterfly of all butterflies. And yeah, on the surface, everyone liked me. But when I had a bad day, or really needed a friend, who was there for me? No one. The best thing to ever happen to me was to trade in that empty life and start a new one with one man, a beer or a cocktail once a month, a quiet shared meal, and real friends who are there to pick up the pieces when I crash. Consider what you’re asking for carefully; its not at all what you think it is.

    Leave a Reply