Do you honestly not see? Do you not see how much I like you? Jameson, I really really like you. You’re adorable, hot, handsome, cute, everything. I find your insecurities humorous, but would never tell you. I just say what I know to build you up. Why can’t you see how deep my feelings are for you!? I think about you so much, I long for you beside me, I long for you to touch me, hold me, kiss me, be with me. But I don’t know why you don’t see. Do you know what I would do for you? I would get on my knees to satisfy you even if I was uncomfortable with it, I want to do that. I want to be with you more than friends. I want to be physical with you. I want to kiss you on the cheek and see that adoring smile.
Now I know this isn’t love. But it’s a start. I’ve loved you since we were kids. Even when you were mean to me, when you teamed up on me with my brother, when you made me cry. I would never admit it, but I always had a crush on you. A curiosity, a longing, a observation. I worked so hard to get to you, to talk and to be with you. And have us both be comfortable with each other. Last night we did. We were so comfortable. We talked for three whole hours. When you looked at the clock and saw the time, you laughed and said you haven’t had a talk like that in a long time. You said it felt like five minutes, to me if felt like two.
I want to tell you how I feel. How bad I want you. How much I want to kiss your beautiful, soft, full lips. I want you to understand. But I won’t ever do that. No, I know I won’t. I’m too scared that you won’t like me. I’m afraid you’ll reject me. I’m afraid I’ll never be good enough for you. Will I? Will I ever get enough courage to tell you? To kiss you on the cheek? Will you think that we’re just like brother and sister, nothing more, nothing less. But I don’t want that. I’ve seen the way you’ve looked at me. I think it’s something more than that, something else. Others have noticed it too. They’ve told me. The neighbor asked if I was the bride. But I wasn’t, and you weren’t the groom.
Jameson, I want you. Badly. I want you to know how I feel. But I don’t know how to tell you. Why can’t you see it? Why can’t you just see it so I don’t have to go through all this hurt and hope that one day you will, and you’ll love me the way I love you.