I fell in love with you on the internet. It took me 6 years to get up the courage and get on that plane, and it was only because of you I even had that opportunity. I got on that plane and the whole way there I pondered if you’d even like me. I wondered and cuddled with two strange men on the plane. I will never forget the moment I saw you. I will NEVER forget that. Your very presence scared me. My heart literally stopped beating. My breath no longer existed. I couldn’t hear anything or see anything except for you. Then, I snapped back to reality and realized that I just flew over 2,000 miles to meet a stranger. But we weren’t really strangers now were we? I love you. You are fucking LIFE CHANGING. You are my kindred spirit in every way. You are what compliments me. You take care of me. You are honest and loving and beautiful and intelligent. I want so badly to be articulate about my feelings when I speak to you.
My words are just slander. The truth is, I have lived my life very..poorly for the past 6 years. I have dated quite a few people, some serious and some not so serious. With every relationship came the moment I broke the news to them that I would never love them. I lost many friends, many lovers, and many acquaintances due to this fact. I will never love anybody that is not you. I have tried. Oh, how I have tried! I will not be truly happy in my life until I have you as my lover, my friend, and my everything. You are everything to me and I sound absolutely, positively NUTS, but fuck it. I am in love with you. I have spent 6 years trying to convince myself I don’t love you, but every night when I fall asleep, I think of you. I dream of you. When my day is bad at work and I am thinking about how much I hate my job, I think “It’s okay..I can do this. I am doing this for Shady, not me.” That is what gets me through each day. You. You are the fucking root of all evil. You are Satan reincarnate with a craving for the blood from a freshly wounded heart. I am that sacrifice.
Stop being so scared. I know you love me. I know you want me. It was obvious every single time you looked at me. It was obvious when you kissed me. It was obvious when you always wanted to cuddle me. You have nothing to lose. I would never leave you, never cheat on you, never let you be alone. I would never leave your side. The ONLY thing you have to do…is tell me to stay. With those few words, I would leave behind everything I know to start fresh with you. Just to have a chance. And if it didn’t work, it wouldn’t matter because at least we could say not only did we try, but we were braver than most people. I love you. It’s that simple. When I come back to see you, I will show you in every single way I can imagine and every single way I can’t imagine. You are to me the air I breathe.