i dont know where it went wrong. i dont know when or why you stopped loving me. i dont know how i managed to fuck up the only thing that really mattered to me. i have never been as happy as i was when i was with you, and i would give anything in the world to fix it…. but its too late now. you broke me, i gave up, im not the same girl as i once was. im not happy and giddy, i dont smile too big to kiss. i lost my sparkle when i lost you when i gave up and left, i gave up happiness as a whole. thats not me, im supposed to be a postive person. im supposed to believe that eliminating the bad and the stress will make everything happy, but right now you are the hurt… and i could never forget about the way you made me feel.
when i moved away reality set in that i will probably never see you again. but i had to, i couldnt stay there. at least now i dont have to have a constant reminder of you. i think of you every 11 seconds, it could be worse, i could still be in welland and be thinking about you every 3 seconds.
this is the first time ive ever been defeated, the first time i hung my head and walked away. its not something i do. but like i said, you broke me.
i wish after 3 months of not talking to you or seeing you it would get easier. i wish it didnt hurt as much as the day i watched you drive your big yellow truck away… but it does. and it wont stop hurting. and you probably dont even remember me. i was such an insignificant part of your life. you dont understand how happy you made me.
oh what i would do to fall asleep beside you one more night. one night without nightmares, one night without crying, one night without heartache.
but one night would never happen, and i continue to wish for things that will never come true.
im sorry i loved you too much, and im sorry i continue to love you too much. and im sorry my heart hurts. i know that you would just want me to feel happy without you.