I write this to you because I am sorry. I don’t know if I’ve ever been more sorry to anyone in my life, but to you I deeply, deeply apologize. I love you. I have spent years loving you more than I love anyone else, or anything else. Or, I convinced myself of that to stay with you. Despite what I told me, it doesn’t change the way I have felt about you. It hurts me to know that I have hurt you. It hurts me even more to know that now you stay to not hurt me from a promise, but your heart is no longer in it. It is hard to love someone who you don’t think loves you. I know that now, and it’s complicated because you’re becoming a dime a dozen to me. It’s the memory of what we shared that keeps me around, and I just want to be swooned again. I want you to want me and woo me, again. But you won’t, and it hurts hurts hurts all day. I walk around trying to find a way, but I amble about looking for someplace to land. Before, it was with you. Now, it’s no place and I’m scared of what will happen to us. I’m oh so scared, and when I tell you I get indifference. Indiffference is the worst thing you could give me. I cannot feel indifference. I cannot feel anything. Whatever shall we do?