You probably could give a dam on how I feel, or what I’m thinking at this exact moment, but I feel like it’s best to let it out someway, so here goes.
We’ve known each other for 3 or so years, and really, our relationship hasn’t been what you would call….healthy. You’ve broken me, and put me back together, then broken me again. I learned how to put myself together again, without you, but I still felt empty. You were my first love, you still are, but I don’t understand what I did to deserve being shattered and stepped on all those times.
Why did you constantly choose others over me? Did you not think it would affect me? Did you not once put yourself in my shoes, or give a crap about my feelings? To you, I was merely an embarrassment,a burden, a fly that you kept swatting. You manipulated me, made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and made me feel microscopic.
I had never really cared what others thought of me, they could shove it for all I cared, but for some reason, I cared what you thought. The only thing you cared about your rep, and what others thought of you. I was never the girl you wanted to be “yours”. I was too different to fit into your world, too dumb to be respected by your friends, and too much of a burden to be cared about. You picked another girl over me, and to this day I ask why? I think: That girl is so lucky to have a guy like him. But really, You’re lost like I once was, but the thing now is, I’ve been found, by myself.
I like being myself, with or without you. You don’t complete me anymore, I don’t need you to survive. Life goes on without you, but you’ll always be in my heart. You allowed me to love for the first time, and also taught me to discover who I was as a person. I wasted my tears on you, but I wouldn’t say it wasn’t worth it, it taught me that Life is hard, but you’ve got to get up on your own, and everything will work out in the end.