All I have ever wanted is to be loved by somebody else for who I am. There’s a quote by Marilyn Monroe basically it says that if you “can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” or something similar to that. I feel that way often that if people don’t like me when I’m annoying, or frustrating, or a downright bitch then why shoud I let them into my life?
The only problem with that is that I don’t have the luxury of being that picky. If find somebody who is the least bit interested in me I’m lucky. I’m starting to feel as though I will never find anybody to love me for who I am. It’s almost as if I repel guys but I don’t know exactly why. I mean I know my looks are below average but there’s only so much I can do with makeup, and I know I could hit the gym a few more times a week than now but I don’t really have any motivation considering when I do put more effort to be healthier it doesn’t seem to make a difference. And yes my personality has it’s flaws, I’m not always happy and when I’m angry I don’t make any sense at all, I’m a bitch at times and I get jealous more easily than most but does that mean I’m unlovable?
I would give anything to feel love by anybody, I’m at the point where just seeing happy couples makes me want to punch them in the face. My bitterness is awful but so is not finding love. I don’t know if anybody will ever love me.