• Why?

    by  • August 22, 2010 • Friends, Heartbreak, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Regret • 0 Comments

    For nearly three years, I gave you my whole heart and soul. We shared a friendship and love that I will never be able to find in another man. I know, because I tried. Even after dating other men, I cannot seem to grasp that bond with them like the one I had with you. We were meant to be, and we lost sight of that.

    I can’t believe that I even still want you, honestly. My heart and mind give me two different emotions. My heart aches and misses you, and my mind tells me that I am better off and that I should be happy to be away from you.

    Do you really understand why I left you? You were lazy. Period. You didn’t want to work or commit to our relationship. This showed me that being with you for the rest of my life could be miserable. I had to leave you. I gave you so many chances to show me that you cared about us, and you dropped the ball. I begged and pleaded with you so many times to come be with me and to get a job, but you would get angry and push aside the subject.

    So, I had to sit down and tell myself what was best for me. Despite being in love with you, I knew that I would never be able to have a life with someone like you. You ruined it, and now I only have a broken heart that seems to never want to mend. I think about you every day, and I wish it would stop. I wish I could get over you. Why did it have to be this way? Why did you let me go? We could have made so many new memories together, my best friend. We could have been so much more than what we were.

    Today, I constantly think back to some of our last conversations. I reminisce about how you told me how horrible I was and how you wish that you never met me. Even now, those words pierce through my heart and make me unable to catch my breath. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever regret meeting you — even with the severe pain you have given me with this broken heart.

    We now go our separate ways. We are two different people, baby. You and I were meant to be, but we lost it. Did I make the wrong decision? Who knows, because I can’t predict the future. I can’t see what our lives could have been — should have been.

    I will love you until the day I take my last breath, Jeff.

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