• We could’ve been

    by  • August 22, 2010 • Friends, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Regret • 0 Comments

    Dear Crystal,

    So, by the time your sister gives you this (tell her I said thanks) I’ll already be heading back up to college. I just wanted to let you know that this summer was great. The times spent with you are some of my favorite memories. At the end things seemed to be a bit shaky with us but as time goes on I hope we really become close again and have a stronger friendship. I re-watched 500 Days of Summer and I realized that our friendship is a lot like theirs in the movie which is frightening. If you remember it he wanted more, and she wanted things to be casual, then they stopped talking and then they start talking again but now she’s engaged. All those things are kind of like me and you but the part that scares me is the ending. In the end they pretty much go their separate ways and don’t even seem to remain friends. I really don’t want our ending to be like that.

    I don’t want to become a part of your past. I don’t want to be a distant memory to you. I’ve lost friends before and I brushed it off but I don’t want to do that again. You seriously are one of the greatest people I have in my life and I want to regain your friendship anyway I can. Almost every good memory I have of this summer involves you in it. I miss our talks and hanging out. I know that you miss them too even if you don’t want to say so. I don’t want us to be like last year again. I’m talking about how we hadn’t talked in a few months and then you had an argument with Kyle so out of the blue you decide to text me again. If you never did that we would never have gotten close but I don’t want that to happen again. I want us to just continue being close and not stop talking.

    I won’t lie to you, I might still have some feelings for you but I promise you I won’t act on them. I think Tim’s a great guy and I’m truly happy to see you happy. I just want you to know that even though I knew we weren’t ever going to be serious together I still had fun while it lasted and everything I said to you was true. I don’t know if you remember what I said but I still mean everything I said to you when you asked me why I liked you that night after we saw Grown Ups. I wasn’t lying just to try to get with you or anything, I truly felt that way about you. I still wish I could’ve taken you on a date, just once, to show you that I could’ve been right for you but unfortunately I never got that chance. I also am being truthful when I say that after everything that happened I don’t care about a relationship anymore and just really want to be close friends with you again. I think that’s what I miss most, not being close anymore. I really hate how things ended between us and still wish I could take some things back but I gotta live with my mistakes, right?

    I want you to know that, even if you don’t at the moment, I still consider you one of my best friends. I think that’s the reason why it would be so hard to just forget about you because I’ve never really lost a best friend before, only acquaintances. I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you to talk to. No matter what happens in the future I won’t ever hesitate to talk to you or make you feel better. You’re gunna think it’s corny and call me a loser probs but there’s a song that I want you to listen to because it’s a good friendship song and true about you. It’s called The Promise by When in Rome (New Found Glory does a great cover though. I suggest listening to that one). The verses of this song NOT the chorus (you’ll understand after you listen) reminded me of you. Just know that I’ll always be here for you; I’m just a phone call away. I think mostly everything has been said so I’ll just wrap this up now. I’m just gunna say that I’m really sorry for everything that’s happened these past few weeks. I love you as a friend and I hope we keep in touch.

    Love,
    Johnny

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