• Never Again

    by  • August 22, 2010 • Betrayal, Breaking Up, Lost Love, Regret, The Ex • 0 Comments

    You and I have been close for almost ten years. When we weren’t in a relationship we always remained good friends. I could trust you, confide in you, and always turn to you for a good laugh. We made plans to have this extravagant life together. Everything seemed perfect between the two of us. I thought we were bona fide soul mates. I loved you and up until now I thought you loved me.

    However this past year you have changed. You’re less ambitious, less responsible, and more self-absorbed…so self-absorbed in fact that you must have forgotten I was your girlfriend when you decided to get drunk on scotch and send flirtatious messages to a female friend.

    I read those same messages. I just want you to know that when I confronted you about them, I gave you the diluted version of what I really wanted to say. I’m not much for confrontations. What I really wanted to say was that every line I read killed me. She’s your dream girl? You’ve always been attracted to her? She’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen? You would do anything for her? Really?

    Every word uncovered the horrific truth that our relationship has just been a lie these past few months. I can no longer trust anything you say to me. I honestly thought about forgiving you and attempting to move past this, but I can’t. As many times as we’ve broken up and gotten back together, I believe you’ve had more than enough chances to get yourself together and be a man.

    When I told you it was over and that I refuse to be in a relationship with someone I don’t trust and am constantly worried about you told me you’re not the horrible person I think you are and that you really do love me. I’m going to call bullshit on that because love shouldn’t hurt this much. If you loved me you would’ve never sent those messages. You’ve crossed the line.

    Don’t think for one second that in a few months you can send me sappy, pathetic emails or call me pleading to have me back in your life (like you’ve done in the past). And don’t send your work buddies to do your dirty work for you either. I don’t care how much you’ve cried, how much you’ve drank to try and “heal the pain”, how much Hannah misses me (never ever use your poor daughter as a decoy to get me back), or how many times you’ve wanted to just die because I’m not there. I’m telling you right now you’ll be wasting your time. YOU’RE THE ONE WHO FUCKED UP!

    You should’ve thought about all this before you decided to stray from our relationship and take me for granted. For once get your head out of your ass and think about how your actions have affected me. I’m through giving in and forgiving men (or should I say little boys) and believing they will change for the better when they never do.

    I’d also like you to know that you’ll never again have a woman in your life as faithful and as loving as I was. I helped take care of your daughter, I loved her as if she were my own. I bought you things I almost couldn’t afford because I wanted to see you happy. I comforted you when you were going through family problems or just had a bad day at work. I was romantic and funny and all the things you claimed you wanted in a woman. That was me, and I didn’t fake it. And this is what I get?

    The one thing that still blows my mind is the fact that I never knew you could be this kind of a person. I guess I shouldn’t worry about all that now because it’s over. I’m free. I’ll never allow another person to hurt me like this again.

    Related Post

    Leave a Reply