I close my eyes and think about all the times in my life where I’ve wished that I could just get one word of approval from you. Just something that would show me you cared for me or that you were proud of me. When I was in fifth grade, you threw my math book at me and told me I would never amount to anything. You told your ten year old daughter that she would never be able to get through math…that she would never be able to get through any of her classes.
And, you know what’s worse? I believed you. I believed that I would never be worth anything. I believed that I would be a failure. I believed your words. I believed your lies. You should have supported me. You should have encouraged me. But, YOU DIDN’T! It’s been eleven years since that day, and you still haven’t supported me or encouraged me in anything I do or have done. You just expect it from me. You expect me to get good grades, to get achievements, to get recognition…you expect perfection! But, you criticize me in everything that I do. But, you take it to a point where it just begins to hurt. Your words hurt me. They have the power to break me. I try so hard to not care, but they still manage to get to me.
But, I’m done! Why should I care about the opinion of a man who has managed to break my spirit? Why should I care about getting the approval of a man who has no qualms about abusing his own flesh and blood? I’m done for now…