• I know you’re only trying to help

    by  • August 22, 2010 • Family Stuff, Heartbreak, Love - Pure and Simple, Parents, Waxing Poetic • 1 Comment

    Daddy,

    When you worked all day and came home without saying a word to me it made me feel sad and lonely but I still loved you.

    When you made me weigh myself every week it made me feel insecure and fat but I still loved you.

    When you moved to Europe it hurt me it made me feel like you didn’t want me anymore but I still loved you.

    When you didn’t call me for months and yelled at me every time for not calling enough that made me feel like you didn’t care enough to keep in touch but I still loved you.

    When you scheduled your wedding on my birthday it made me sad and made me feel that you did it on purpose because you knew I couldn’t go but I still loved you.

    When you had a new child and always talked about her I felt like you replaced me and didn’t love me anymore but I still loved you.

    When you talked crap about my mom it made me feel like you hated half of me but I still loved you.

    When you told me I couldn’t get a job because I needed to focus on school it made me feel like you didn’t trust and think I had the responsibility to do both but I still loved you.

    When I told you about my future plans and you sarcastically said, “Okay,” it made me feel like you didn’t believe in me but I still loved you.

    When you hid the fact that I was gonna have another sibling from me for 8 months I was hurt and felt like I wasn’t important enough to tell but I still loved you.

    Even though the things you did always made me tear up, I still loved you. Every time I thought about it I cried. I am permanently hurt inside. You tell me that I can tell you anything but honestly, I can’t. And if you were smart enough you would realize why I want to cry every time I think of you. Unfortunately no matter how much bullshit you threw at me, I still loved you. And no matter how much more you will throw, I will still love you because despite how terrible you really were to me, I know that your intentions were good and that is something only a true father can have. I hate you but I love you and I will always be Daddy’s little girl.

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    One Response to I know you’re only trying to help

    1. pdh
      August 22, 2010 at 10:11 pm

      Your love has been misplaced. He doesn’t give a shit about you; give it up and find somebody worthy of your love. Just because you share a few strands of DNA with this piece of slime doesn’t make him worthy of your love. His intentions were NOT good. He doesn’t love you. Move on, and don’t apply good qualities to him that he obviously does not have. You’ll thank yourself for it.




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