• I don’t want you to lose me.

    by  • August 22, 2010 • Friends, Knock it Off, Love - Pure and Simple • 1 Comment

    M,

    you have been my rock for the past seven years. you moved here knowing nobody, and suddenly you became the friend i didn’t know i was missing. you became my best friend, and now i don’t know how i got through my life without you. we’ve never been more than friends, and i never wanted to be more than friend. we’ve both spent our entire relationship trying to defend the fact that we are just friends. i do care about you deeply, and i don’t like other girls in your life because i don’t want anyone to take you away from me. i don’t hate your girlfriends because they’re bad people, they just aren’t right for you.

    i’m dramatic and talkative. i can get way too emotional, and i can blow things out of proportion. i get annoying, i’m quirky, i have flaws. you know me better than i know myself, and you accept me for me. and you know i care about you so much.. why do you hurt me the way you do?

    through the course of our relationship you’ve repeatedly screwed me over. i confide in you, you tell everyone. i yell at you, you hug me. i forgive you. then the cycle continues. people tell me i’m stupid for trusting you again, but i can’t help it. you mean everything to me, and i want to trust you. i think that’s because i see the good in you… through all the bad you’ve put me through i still see all the good. i forget the bad you do when i shouldn’t. you spread rumors about me, you tell my secrets, you take things out of context, you make me feel like shit, you send pictures i’m ashamed of to everyone. then when i confront you i tell you how i really feel, you give me a hug, i cry into your shoulders. you make me feel safe and i can’t help but forgive you.

    i don’t want our relationship to ever go away. i want to grow old with you as my neighbor and i want our kids to be friends. i never want to lose you, but i’m afraid one of these days you’ll take it too far and i’ll have no choice but to let go of you forever. please, please stop jerking me around. stop hurting me. i won’t be here forever if you keep this up.

    i love ya,
    K.

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    One Response to I don’t want you to lose me.

    1. A little cryptic
      December 1, 2015 at 10:20 am

      But maybe theres a reason




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