• I Hate That I Love You

    by  • August 21, 2010 • Fear, Frustration, Love - Pure and Simple, Regret • 6 Comments

    I swore to myself up and down I would never be that girl.

    The girl who only talks about her boyfriend.
    The girl that can only seem to find something to always connect to back to talking about her boyfriend.
    The girl who can’t seem to find anything to do with her day whenever her boyfriend isn’t around.
    The girl who hates when you talk to other girls all the time.

    But I have turned into that girl. It’s sad to say, and I am not happy to admit it at all. Who am I to judge?

    But I hate it when you are always talking to some girl for hours. That’s how we started out. Yeah, I’m kinda jealous, and I completely hate that I am.

    I’m not mad at you, at all. Ever. I’m just angry with myself for turning into that girl that revolves around you.

    I can instantly cry when i think about losing you to another. I’m self-conscious around your girl friends. I just hate what I’ve become, and I’m sorry. I’m trying to change.

    I love you.

    6 Responses to I Hate That I Love You

    1. Annabelle Lost
      August 21, 2010 at 7:04 pm

      I completely understand where you’re coming from. Like you, I swore I would never be “that girl”…unfortunately, and as hard as it is for me to admit it, I am that girl. My boyfriend’s girl friends make me feel self-conscious, I HATE when he talks to other girls, and most of all, when he doesn’t talk to me for a few days, I go crazy just imagining the things he could be doing…Back to the point though, it’s not just you. We gotta stick together, right? 🙂


    2. tianna
      August 21, 2010 at 10:11 pm

      i feel this so hardxcore.
      suddenly, the world doesnt seem so small anymore.

    3. Yunie
      August 22, 2010 at 1:52 pm

      If I were to submit my own letter to this site, it would go just exactly as you have put it.

    4. Kiel
      August 24, 2010 at 10:03 am

      I am not a girl, but this is pretty much how I feel as well… You took the words out of my mouth, but in the opposite way.

    5. Joe
      August 25, 2010 at 5:01 pm

      If you aren’t willing to put your heart on the line, you don’t deserve to be in a relationship.

    6. Ellen
      July 14, 2011 at 6:45 am

      Although I am not “this” particular girl but I have been scrutinized to the pressures of someone who shares similar feelings. I have always taken pride in the laid back/easy going/people friendly person that I have been raised and surrounded by people I love to be. Life doesn’t give you the people you necessarily want but instead the people that you need and in my case I met the guy I am deeply in love with and have been with him for the past three years on and off. It is so difficult loving someone so much and having your every word/action/etc be challenged and transformed into something with such a much more negative context. I don’t know whether to continue to put my heart entirely on my sleeve for this man or recognize that if he truly loves me he’ll accept all of me verses questioning my every move/interaction/friendship with another. I genuinely feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. The worst part of all is that I know if I stay or if I leave I will hurt regardless.

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