• I hate January

    by  • August 21, 2010 • Frustration, Grief, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    Hello love. I’m so sorry that I’ve been… absent for a month. I just made a to-do list , and right at the top was CONTACT YOU. Life has been… life. I’m at the end of a 4 day weekend, we went skiing for most of it.

    We need to talk on the phone.

    Here’s the not so nice stuff. Life has been hectic. To follow up with the tragedy of the fall, last week my cousin’s best friend had a ski accident, and died shortly afterward in hospital. That was tougher. 11 year olds aren’t suppose to die. On top of it all, Grampy is dying. He’s been in hospital for 2 months. He has cancer and it’s spread to his brain. Mum is only working 1/2 time and spends 4 hours out there a day, Grammy sleeps at the hospital and the other 2 sisters fill in the rest of the time. It’s been really hard. He’s completely delusional now, and doesn’t really know what’s going on. They don’t want me to visit anymore, and frankly I don’t want to either. I want to remember my grandfather, not an incoherent man. I’m kind of sacred because everything has been so different and forced and awkward at home lately because of this, and I don’t know if once all this goes back to normal, whether everything else in my life will all change. And fall apart. It’s scary.

    I love you so much, and miss you even more,
    Stay happy and healthy. Please.
    Love, love, love,
    -M

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