I’m going to make this pretty straightforward. You are driving me mad with your indecisiveness, and I’m scared I’ll have to disappear now that he’s back, whether I want to or not. I try so hard for you, squeezing out every last drop of talent that I have for you, and the only thing I’m given back is the feeling that I’m not good enough, even though everyone tells me I’m more than just good enough. I feel disposable and useless. I am so angry at you, but I can never bring myself to confront you. I want to get you out of my head, but I constantly find myself being drawn to you. I will never understand why you make me feel the way I do, and I will never understand why I let this happen. But I’ve already given so much that I don’t have much left to lose. I will continue to try, even if that that means I must fade for now.
The first and last time we kissed, it was like all of the worries in my world were gone, and nothing else mattered. Don’t you want to feel that again?
It’s funny how the few seconds and few kisses have lead to this. I won’t let go, no matter how hard it gets. I want to stick this out.