I love you passionately, and I would give anything for you to love me again. I know it’s my fault. I was kind of blue all last semester; I know I cried too often and freaked out too many times about what you were doing and that I missed you. But I was stressed out about everything: classes, graduating, never seeing my dad. But everything was coming together and looking up, my dad got a new job, college stuff was taken care of, and I had you to care for me and we’d be happy for another year, even though we’d be apart again. You had even told me before, just recently, that you thought I might be the one. And then, three days before our anniversary you took me out into a field and told me that you just didn’t know about us anymore. I didn’t understand then and I don’t now. You say you love me sometimes, and sometimes you refuse. I don’t know if we’re still dating casually, or if I mean anything at all to you anymore. You say I mean SOMETHING, but you’ve yet to say what. I tried so hard. I had such faith in you. I copied out 365 love poems for our anniversary, you didn’t give me a thing. I agreed to become your friend with benefits after that because I still need you in my life. I wish I could just let you go and never think of you again, but I can’t. I still love you. I would still die for you. You are an amazing young man: caring, patient, tender. I wish I could hate you, but I never can. But you broke my heart in a way that I cannot explain to you. I don’t understand the gravity of it myself. I love you, but you make me feel worthless, guilty, lonely, useless, unloved, unwanted, nearly suicidal. Your love, or lack thereof, makes me want to die sometimes. But I cannot live without you in my life right now. I need you. I wouldn’t have agreed to being a friend with benefits if I didn’t. And if I didn’t still have a gut feeling that you are meant to play some active role in my life. I love you, John. I would give everything just to have you love me again the way you used to. I gave you my heart and you broke it into a million pieces and dropped it in salt and broken glass, but you haven’t done anything wrong. I guess it’s my fault. I don’t know. I’m so confused. I can’t analyze it; I’m so hurt. I miss you. Come home soon. I just need you to hold me. I just can’t handle it anymore, John. Oh, John, I need you. Please come home soon, please. I love you.