We used to be good friends. We used to be able to talk and laugh. Now everything is different, all because you’re dating my best friend. We’ve been friends longer than you’ve been here, and you just need to accept that we will always be dorks that way. It’s true, I still have a little thing for him and I may flirt every so often, but you need to calm down. I’m not going to steal him from you; it’s not my style. I still care about you in the sense that I don’t want you to die, but I will not miss you when I move out.