• Thou wast all that to me, love, for which my soul did pine-

    by  • August 16, 2010 • Love - Pure and Simple, Regret, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    Dearest ——

    Everytime you would tell me that you were meant to be alone, I would tell you to wait, that someone would come into your life. What I should have said was that I wanted to be that person. I’ve been in love with you since I first met you. Everytime I saw you with a girl I would get jealous. While trying to get closer to you, you ended up falling for my best friend. You used me to get closer to her. I hated her, but I could never truly hate you.

    I tried to change. I tried to become what you wanted. Couldn’t you see how I pined for you?? Did you just ignore how I would always want to talk to you and be around you? Instead, you told me how inadequate I was. How I wasn’t what you wanted. There were days that I couldn’t even look at myself because of how ugly you made me feel.

    Everytime you texted me early in the morning, I told myself it was because you were thinking of me, even though I know that was lie. Everyone else could see that I was in love with you, why couldn’t you?

    I made up a lie to cover my trail by saying that you were my best friend and that is why I talked about you all the time. Best friends don’t feel the way I feel about you, though.

    I should’ve known after you hugged me one night, that there would never be anything more than friendship. But I still tried to hold on.

    You changed in a matter of weeks. Into someone that I didn’t know. You went to the camp I’ve been going to for years and fell in love with a girl I’ve know a majority of my life, in two weeks. I’ve been desperately trying to get your attention for 2 years, she gets in in 2 weeks. She is completely different from me. Closer to what I used to be before I changed for you. Who would’ve known that what you wanted was what I used to be.

    I tell myself, because you’re my best friend, that I’m happy for you. I think I might grow to be. I really hope, for your sake, that this relationship is a happy one.

    I will always have a spot in my heart, even though I know I can never have one in yours.


    Leave a Reply